Reminding myself to focus on the positives

I was reviewing some of my past writing and came across this short note. When I write something and then read it months or years later, I am often surprised at how poignant and expressive I can be. This struck me as sad but beautiful. We’re still finalising Charlie’s memorial seven months later but our initial plans haven’t changed. December 6, 2021

We chose Charlie’s final place of rest today. It was cold and blustery, the thick grey clouds a reflection of my inner being. Yet somehow it was peaceful too. We found the spot just as the sun managed to peak through. I knew that this was the place. It was just right. Here we will plant a tree that blooms in the spring with pink blossoms that Charlie would love. Next to the tree, there will be a bench, where any one of her adoring family and friends can sit and be with her. The view facing east is of trees and grasses; nature, much like that by which she was surrounded all her short life. The crest of the escarpment, to the northwest lies within magnificent sight. I am sick with the constant awful feeling in my stomach that the world is just not right. But I was comforted by a glimpse of something beautiful today and I am grateful for that.