Mum, I’m home

A number of weeks ago, my sister recommended my family listen to the podcast “The Telepathy Tapes”. In the author, Ky Dickens’ own words, “The Telepathy Tapes offers a fresh perspective on the profound connections that exist beyond words.”

It’s a fascinating podcast that sheds light on the extraordinary abilities of non-speaking autistic humans that go far beyond most people’s material experience.

As the mother of both an autistic son and our angel Charlie, the Telepathy Tapes opened my eyes and mind to numerous ideas and experiences I have pondered over the years but largely dismissed or simply misunderstood.

One of the themes of the podcast is that we often hide, out of fear of being disbelieved, experiences that defy most people’s understanding and beliefs. Sometimes, it’s easier to keep things quiet than to open ourselves up to doubt, ridicule, or worse. I am certainly guilty of this. I have kept certain events mostly to myself out of fear I’ll be disbelieved or doubted. When I have shared these stories, I have usually prefaced them with “this is going to sound crazy but…”.

The Telepathy Tapes helped to illuminate that there is so much more to “life, the universe, and everything” than most of us know. Since listening to the podcast, I have been able to see certain events and ideas from a new perspective and recognize that just because it seems crazy or inexplicable doesn’t mean it is.

One of life’s greatest mysteries is what happens when we die. Do we have a soul that leaves our body? Do we go to another place, whether heaven or some other dimension? Do we live multiple lives?

After Charlie died, these questions became central to my thoughts. I needed to believe that Charlie wasn’t completely gone so that I could cope with life without her. Each of us finds ways to live through grief like ours. Holding on to hope that Charlie was still with us in some form was my lifeline.

It was for this reason that three years ago, I began searching for psychic mediums in Canada. At the time, I didn’t tell anyone else what I was doing, particularly my very logical, skeptical husband and son. I honestly wasn’t sure if I even believed in psychic abilities, but when I found a Canadian medium who was doing an online session for $25 a ticket, I figured I had nothing to lose. With some 100 or so people online, I reckoned I would join in, observe, and judge for myself. So the night of the session in January 2022, barely six weeks after Charlie’s suicide, I sneaked upstairs into my room with my laptop. I sat in the dark so that my family wouldn’t twig what I was doing and think I’d completely lost my marbles! I couldn’t bear to endure the ridicule I imagined I would get for attending a psychic session!

What happened next completely blew me away. Word to the wise: Never attend an online psychic session without showering and don’t sit in the dark. Oh and wait until you’re not drowning in grief so you don’t look like a blubbering idiot!

Before I go on, I know that some people reading this will be skeptical and I don’t blame you! All I can suggest is that you listen to the Telepathy Tapes. You may find the podcast opens your mind to the possibility that there is much more that we don’t understand than that we do. Even time is a concept that science has yet to be able to explain. So who is to say that there is nothing more beyond our material experience?

One of the first things Michelle, the psychic pointed out was her pale pink top. Apparently, the first spirit who was coming through had insisted she change out of the black top she had been wearing and into a pink one. As I heard this, I thought, “that’s a funny coincidence” since soft pink was Charlie’s favourite colour and she would have loved Michelle’s shirt.

Michelle then began to describe a girl with long blond hair, and a viking-style ship with this girl at the front like a figurehead. Again, I thought, “huh, go figure, pink and a nordic/viking theme (Charlie loved nordic mythology) and a girl with long blonde hair - it couldn’t be, could it?

“She wants to be called Charlie,” says Michelle. Tears started streaming down my face and I loudly burst out “it’s Charlie!” as I struggled to sit up and turn on a light (having been completely unprepared to be on camera). My outburst, of course, scared the bejeezus out of Carl and James, who came running into the room to see that I was okay. I wasn’t okay. But I wasn’t sad, despite all my tears; just completely emotionally overwhelmed.

Michelle went on to share messages from Charlie, which could not have been more accurate. I won’t bore you with all the details but even the way she said, “she wants to be called Charlie,” unbeknownst to Michelle was a reference to the fact that Charlie wasn’t her birth name. It was her chosen name. I will forever be grateful for this moment, and for Michelle’s psychic ability — as well as for Charlie pushing her way to the front of the spirit queue!

A couple of the things that Michelle said during the reading seemed more cryptic than others. After listening to episode 9 of the Telepathy Tapes, I came to understand these messages in a way that, I believe, better matches what Charlie was sharing.

One of these was a reference to her being “home”. I am now at peace with the idea that the world as we know it is not the be all and end all. I understand it as one chapter in the story of our existence. We are all energy and that energy moves beyond the corporeal when we die. Charlie is now home and happy to have shed a body she despised. I may not be able to see or feel her now but I will see her again.

The other point that Michelle shared is that Charlie was an old soul who had outgrown her body and mind. She needed more than this limited existence could provide.

Crazy and totally biased as this will seem, I know that there was something special about Charlie. Right from her first week of life when she didn’t cry even once, it was obvious that she was not your average child. At age 12, when she broke her toe and needed surgery to fix it, her first words as she came out of her ketamine-induced state were thanks to each and every person in the room for doing such an incredible job. When she and I went shopping together in the months before she died, she insisted on stopping to thank and tell each person who served us how much she appreciated their efforts.

It is only with hindsight, listening to the Telepathy Tapes, and putting them together with Michelle’s message that I have been able to see this clearly. Much as we were not ready for Charlie to go, it was her time to move on. She was needed for greater, more important things beyond this world.

I believe the same goes for my friends’ son Finlay, who died almost exactly a year ago, also 16 years old. He was a truly special, kind, loving young man whose short life was dedicated to helping others. Like Charlie, he was exceptional, an old soul, too special to stay trapped here in this dimension. I believe that they were both called to do more somewhere beyond our understanding. They were angels walking among us. We just didn’t know it at the time.

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If you’re curious to see part of Michelle’s psychic reading and messages from Charlie, it’s called “Mom, I made it home.” and it’s posted on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/9l3jKqbcY2o?si=1TbXuFyuzspuF9AD. Please excuse my very messy appearance!

This post is dedicated to my dear friends and the loving memory of their son and brother, Finlay.